Stranded on an asteroid in a damaged Tie-Fighter. Waiting
and hoping for something good to happen. Good, ironic, I don't deserve good for
what I have done. I deserve to be entombed in this vessel for the rest
of eternity. How did I end up in this predicament? My whole
life was to get justice for my parents. Justice? More like revenge.
Revenge is a powerful motivator. Ever since that day I saw my parents marched into that concentration camp with LaValle, I have had this rage. This desire to make him suffer like he made my parents suffer. Whatever emotions or feelings I had for life in general disappeared. Being a smuggler or gun-for-hire for that slimy Hutt was a way to release all that rage I had pent up inside. This rage opened up something powerful inside of me. I threw mercs and other scum with my mind off skyscrapers and against walls. What am I? I am not sure what I am. I just know there's something dark in me. I hid it. I certainly didn't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's piloting, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I didn't fight him, I didn't want to. He was all I've got. Nothing else could have loved me, not even...especially not me. Or is that a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else...someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things...people...who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter.
Elaiza...started to shine light on this darkness in me. She taught me the ways of being a true Jedi. Like the Jedi of the Old Republic. She taught me this code...how did it go? There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity, this is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force.
My Dark Passenger didn't want to give up his seat so easily. This training I received from Elaiza and Zil-lan, her padawan, wasn't working as well as I am sure they wanted it to. I still did some horrible things to my enemies. I crushed a man’s windpipe and saw his lifeless body droop in the air. I vowed right there and then to never let this darkness take over the pilots seat again. I had to suppress this darkness in me.
While we were trying to escape the planet taken over by the remnants of the empire I met my unfortunate end...or so I thought. The evil jedi took me prisoner while I watched my crew fly away and hopefully escape. I figured I would be tortured and then put to death as soon as they got everything they wanted from me. This dark figure who goes by the name Krolus had other plans for me.
He wanted to show me the true ways of the powers I have. That he can make me more powerful than Elaiza ever could. He sung a sweet tune and to be honest I almost sang back. But I made a commitment that I would not let my Dark Passenger back in my life. While I was being held prisoner on the ISS Tarkin I found out that my mentor is alive and being held close to my cell. I reached out with the force and tried to communicate with her. After a few minutes of meditating, I could hear her. She sounded so weak and defeated. I told her I was to be put to death soon unless I proved my worth and loyalty to the dark jedi by killing her. I told her I have come to accept my fate and that it is for the best because of the darkness that is starting to envelope me. I vowed not to turn to the dark side and accept death.
However, she said that I had to just this once let my Dark Passenger take the controls again and do what must be done for the greater good. I had to convince Krolus that I would be his loyal follower. God, Elaiza...what have I done? What have I done....
Revenge is a powerful motivator. Ever since that day I saw my parents marched into that concentration camp with LaValle, I have had this rage. This desire to make him suffer like he made my parents suffer. Whatever emotions or feelings I had for life in general disappeared. Being a smuggler or gun-for-hire for that slimy Hutt was a way to release all that rage I had pent up inside. This rage opened up something powerful inside of me. I threw mercs and other scum with my mind off skyscrapers and against walls. What am I? I am not sure what I am. I just know there's something dark in me. I hid it. I certainly didn't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's piloting, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I didn't fight him, I didn't want to. He was all I've got. Nothing else could have loved me, not even...especially not me. Or is that a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else...someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things...people...who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter.
Elaiza...started to shine light on this darkness in me. She taught me the ways of being a true Jedi. Like the Jedi of the Old Republic. She taught me this code...how did it go? There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity, this is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force.
My Dark Passenger didn't want to give up his seat so easily. This training I received from Elaiza and Zil-lan, her padawan, wasn't working as well as I am sure they wanted it to. I still did some horrible things to my enemies. I crushed a man’s windpipe and saw his lifeless body droop in the air. I vowed right there and then to never let this darkness take over the pilots seat again. I had to suppress this darkness in me.
While we were trying to escape the planet taken over by the remnants of the empire I met my unfortunate end...or so I thought. The evil jedi took me prisoner while I watched my crew fly away and hopefully escape. I figured I would be tortured and then put to death as soon as they got everything they wanted from me. This dark figure who goes by the name Krolus had other plans for me.
He wanted to show me the true ways of the powers I have. That he can make me more powerful than Elaiza ever could. He sung a sweet tune and to be honest I almost sang back. But I made a commitment that I would not let my Dark Passenger back in my life. While I was being held prisoner on the ISS Tarkin I found out that my mentor is alive and being held close to my cell. I reached out with the force and tried to communicate with her. After a few minutes of meditating, I could hear her. She sounded so weak and defeated. I told her I was to be put to death soon unless I proved my worth and loyalty to the dark jedi by killing her. I told her I have come to accept my fate and that it is for the best because of the darkness that is starting to envelope me. I vowed not to turn to the dark side and accept death.
However, she said that I had to just this once let my Dark Passenger take the controls again and do what must be done for the greater good. I had to convince Krolus that I would be his loyal follower. God, Elaiza...what have I done? What have I done....
No comments:
Post a Comment